Stop!

Here comes the all time favorite again! December  :D
But Santa is not coming to town, it's freaking hot here........ lol

Just having a wonderful anniversary weekend with my fiance.
Time really flies!
Looking forward this year gift exchange..! hohoho ..money all the way

Be true, I think I'm getting better these few weeks...
Honesty, I guess. It is healing me.
At least, I didn't think about suicide in the past two weeks.
A great step too!

Huge decisions made this year, quite a hard year to me.
Am glad that it ends smoothly, although I want it be 'happily ever after'.
It's fine, just give another try next year!

Blindness ended.
This is considered a very impressed improvement to me. :D
Just an advice, stop playing hide and seek with you own. Should really plan & think well, troubles met then solve it. I believe that there's no such as mission impossible, only time will do.

Private life, this part count as failure.  lol
Ain't good in communication, but it's not an excuse too.
Am trying to learn it in better way..... work in progress!
Losing trust in people, even friend.
It's cruel when you found out someone really means a lot to you done bad things or spreading rumors behind you....it is HURT. Plus, there was too many times & experiences on this kind of things............... Like I did find out one of my best mate breaking my trust due to what my best mate done years ago. Even it was years ago, you would still mad and sad about it! But, funny thing is.....that one act like nothing happened. Oh please.... Oscar will do!

Forgiveness shall be given all the time?
Never think of it.
It takes a lot of time, I ain't saint but facing sins. We all the same.
I would forgive you someday, from the bottom of my heart.

Just sharing what I learnt.
Do not target or expect  yourself too high, beyond your capability. You would fell badly....
I met people. They always speak louder than actions, targets changed monthly, nothing done at the end.
Do not underestimate anyone, sometime he/she might just need a cover to be a greater person.

Have a nice day.

First Step

I cut my hair.

I found that I've lost myself.

I know I've been sick for awhile.

I'm suffering depression.

I finally admit it.

I'm willing to seek for help.

I gonna fight it.

I will do everything to stay alive.

I know that would be a long way to go, and it would be tough.

I know people would cry for me, even just a few.

I will keep breathing and fighting with the illness.

I shall keep breathing for my loved ones.

I would be the mother of your kids, your beloved wife, die before you.

I would try the best to stop hurting myself, even just a minute, I'd still fight with it.

You are my strength, please stay by my side.

I would try.

I would save my last breath for you.

Silence remains

Everyday waking up at the same time, doing the same.
Days passed.
The habit never end.

Driving the same car for years.
Passing by the same view for years.
Changes made.
The car wasn't that good like the first day, the view wasn't that fair like the previous.

Wearing the same clothes to work.
Facing the same desktop and desk.
Doing paperwork daily.
Difference, we're making it.
Trying to make ourselves comfortable in every place.

I think I should be pleased.
I didn't force to do the habit but created myself.

' Sometimes when I'm alone
I pretend that I'm a queen
it almost believable '  --- Invisible by Skylar Grey

yea, she is right.

At least, be the queen of yourself.
Even just one day.

We're still breathing.

I luv him.



Lovely June is coming !

I'm not sure whether you really understand when I say " I'm really busy right now, sorry! ".
Everyone works differently just to get paid and live our life.
And, sorry to say that not everyone lives like you do.
We earn every coins or notes by how hard we do, not like you just ask from someone else.
I have tried my best to show my respect on you, so please do not try my limit.
oh yea, it's truth cause not everyone could be professional prostitute.
That's why I admired you once.

New job, I was wondering how to describe it in the right expression.
Hmmm, I think it's all about challenge.
New positon and task I have never done before, quite a nice learning chance for me to update myself.

Anyway, just enjoy the life cause it always full of unexpected surprises.
Just like how I met my Fiance.
That was cool and unbelievable !

Time really flies.
It's nearly June now.
Half year gone, what have you done in last six months ?
Perhaps all my dear friends doing perfectly well without regrets.


My sister gonna marry in three months later.
oh, just like I said " Life is full of surprise " .
You will never know who will you meet in the next second and who you will end up with.
This year really a freaking busy year!


Sorry for those end up badly.
No one means to be hurt.

I promised my dearest dinner together this month, but why it seems hard to make it.
oh no, I could make it easily months before but super hard to make it months later.
24 hours always not enough for me.
super sorry! but you're always on my mind.
and my luv, blair too!

Working super hard to make money !
A wedding without annoying tradisional chinese dinner, oh I love it !

It only seems perfect when I with you, my babe.
You're romantic right in your way.

It's time to prepare for my study life.
Try to catch up what I have missed in my last two years.

It's never late to learn just afraid that you're not willing to learn.

My babe meets challenges too.
But no matter how hard will it be, I promise I'll stay by your side.
Thanks to you, I can imagine the rest of my days with you, and it will be great and perfect.


Will our gal look just like me? xD



May update.

Alright, I supposed to work in my tiny office and sit on my broken chair and facing with my messy table.
But Im home now.


WHY?

Im sick, pretty much can say so.

If my babe found out that I still bloggin rite now, then I would be dead.

It's May now, hello May days.

wondering why the weather turning so damn hot... I think our great mother earth is getting sick badly and worse.

don't get shock! my storage! xD

still a lot of jobs not get done yet. making me headache ='(


two more years, 11th December 2013 ♥

expecting and waiting for it badly!  WHY WHY WHY


cause that will be my wedding day ♥

yea Im getting married soon !

this is Mr Bear ♥

okay, it's time to bed.

or I might get killed before I get married.

Bye and have a good day.

Just Another YEAR

Oh 

it's brand new April now! 

lovely April days

shopping needed!  ='(

can I ?

started new job few days ago

hmmm..... nothing special but it's totally different if compare with my last job

and most important, no more LADY BOSS !!!

screw you!

hunting for shoes .... =(

nice design and fit my size!

fiance ♥

will u marry me? lol

gonna ask u every single day from now! xD

hunting for bags too! 

planning for a short vacation with Mr Spring ...

but when when when 

when can we go and looking for fun? ='(

new job seems like hard to clear my holiday ya... too bad

' It may be a time of new beginnings, a time of growth, a time of reaping the harvest of the hard work, or a time of rest. Trust this beautiful order. Everything in its time. '   ----  Message from God 

 

arghh.. miss my friends ='(

dearest and luv ♥

wanna date u two, can I? xD


I know being depressed wouldn't help or change anything
but sometimes u just hard to fight with it... ...
another year passed, next year perhaps?
always talk to yourself like this, kinda cheer yourself up...
but deep down of u already knew something that might never change
u just refuse to accept and face it






I am not happy. but seems like perfect... crazy, isn't it?

March with love !!! ♥

arghhhh

It's March now ...Good day!

resigned from the company, gonna miss the days here!

spending my last one year with u guys, it's worthy =D


I just discharged from hospital daysss ago.
what happened this time?
Doctor told me it should be lung infection then it was my first admission to hospital this year.
poor me  =X

my poor hand ='(

and the best part was ...hmm, my dear was there with me
I was touched deeply.

DUMB Look No.1

babe are u try to be SEXY ? lol xD

He always seems dumb but I just couldn't live without him from now and the rest of my life.
I know he is the right one for me, clearly and simple. 

Will you marry me? I guess I already knew the answer.

every moment with u was treasure ♥

 Enjoy every moment with u ♥

I luv u just the way u are ♥

Thanks God.

Seriously thinkin bout college life recently... super miss school days ='(
can I afford it? ...sigh
seeing people around me back to school life... kinda jealous! gosh
but I really not doin this for the certificate or whatever people doin this for, Im doin for myself and it's really bout learning.
sometimes, life is so unfair.

fuck the UNFAIR! xD

suddenly remember my old bloggin wretch  --> www.wretch.cc/blog/dIaOdIaO247
still working? lol


it's gettin late now..
time to bed !


see you guys ! ♥

He is my buddy! Happy 20th Bday ♥